How can i start to Understand what i want from life?

im 20 years old college student. This week i finally realized my major was not for me. I realized that im never really happy about anything anymore, I can never hilariously laugh about anything or just loose up to have fun. Now that im on vacation, I have time to think clearly. I am very strict with myself, and i keep myself from doing so much. I feel that its time to change that but start to balance my life where its time to have fun & get serious. Because their is never fun in my life, always seriousness. I have no close close friends if i had a secret to tell anyone, yahoo answers is my only option to choose from and my mom(depending on the secret, lol). I do not regret a thing in life though, im a great daughter. I just want to spicin things up and feel more happy, let loose and have fun again like when i was little.... I want to learn more about, How can i get to know my self more. Because I know somewhere in the mud there are some diamonds. I feel like somebody that just ease their way through life, always under the radar. Never standing out or blending in, but as I look back their is nothing that i have done. Im tired of just being in comfort zones, I want to live life for real. But live it the right way! and stop trying so hard to follow the rules all the time. I want to know what its like to have a all girls night out, and laugh so hard that i can't stop. Or have that one hot guy come up to me, without turning him down becuz he seems like bad news(which i always do). I want to know what it feels like to just have such a memorable night with friends to the point where i'll never forget...I want to know how it feels to just talk to a person that i call my best friend about my whole life without telling any lies. I want to know what it feels like for a friend to tell me they miss me & how much fun we use to have. I just want to know....